Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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