I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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