Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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