This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
God, I missed his penis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
