My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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