and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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