Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
