Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
