and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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