Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
