She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I need moral support for this bender
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
