a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
