I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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