I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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