I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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