just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
