I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
