I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
