i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
