i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
