im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You need Xanax blowdarts
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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