And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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