I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
