So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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