Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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