Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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