just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize