Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
