if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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