Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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