you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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