well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
