Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
