Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
