She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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