It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
