I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
