wanna go halves on a baby?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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