Non-Jews are for practice
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
