Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
