Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
