the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
