I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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