somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
