your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
