I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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