sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Randomize
