scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
