But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
