I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
