My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
This is the high leading the old right now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
