I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
