p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
