I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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