Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
