Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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