He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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