it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
