i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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